This past summer I purchased a lawn mower for the first time in my life.
Like other acts of homage to the spirits of hardware, the search for a lawn mower was a learning experience.
At first I considered a manual mower. I don’t have that much grass, I don’t have big hills — it seemed like the simplest solution.
I hadn’t realized that manual lawnmowers had evolved from utilitarian garden implements to totems of yuppie nostalgia and sentimental patriotism.
Lawn mower of the past
Then I read that manual lawnmowers tend get stuck on twigs; and they can’t cut grass if it gets more than 5 inches high. So I looked further….
And found that advanced technology now can automate the lawnmowing process completely. You buy a little, round, red or yellow Pacman-like robot You install a wire around the edge of the lawn. The robot lawnmower then buzzes around the grass, munching away within the wire perimeter. They haven’t worked out the bugs yet — the algorithm doesn’t cut evenly and hit has some trouble with bumps and sticks. And it costs a bit more than I wanted to spend. So I searched on.
Lawn mower of the future
And I discovered that cutting the grass was no simple yard chore. Mowing the lawn is an opportunity to transcend the life of this world, and commune with the world of the spirit.
Lawn mower of the world to come
While I steeped myself in lawnmower lore and learning, I borrowed a gasoline mower from some friends to mow the lawn before the yard turned into a jungle. It was loud. It was smelly. And it was too heavy for me to lift.
I finally settled on the prosaic, best-selling Black-and-Decker electric mower from Amazon.com. It’s quiet. It won’t explode. I can easily move it up and down stairs.
Lawn mower of the present